#1 Alarm Clock
“Umm, hello?”
“…Hello? Is someone there?”
“Yeah, I’m here, Sam. It’s Alex.”
“…Alex? What the fuck?! What’s going on? I can’t see anything.”
“I know, I know. It’s…hard to explain. And we don’t have a ton of time. Just try to stay calm.”
“Stay calm?! I don’t…I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”
“Look, I know how weird this is. I’m kind of freaking out too.”
“Where are you, Alex? Why can’t I see anything?”
“I’m here. I just…think of it like talking on the phone.”
“I can’t feel anything either. Alex, why can’t I feel anything? I think I’m having a panic attack.”
“Because…Oh god, how do I even begin…Look, just try to calm down and listen to my voice. We don’t have long to talk.”
“…I’m really scared.”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry to put you through this. I just needed…Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe it’s best I just go.”
“NO, Alex, wait. Don’t go. I just need a minute.”
“…Sam?”
“I’m here. This is just…a lot. I’m trying to make sense of hearing your voice right now.”
“I can’t believe it either. To be honest I’m still trying to decide whether this is even real.”
“It feels pretty real for me.”
“That’s reassuring, I guess. Are you feeling okay now?”
“I’m fine. I still don’t have the slightest clue what’s going on but I’m…fine. It’s nice to hear your voice. Though you sound distant, like you’ve got bad reception.”
“We’ll have to make do, I’m afraid. Sam, do you remember the last thing we did together?”
“…my memory is really fuzzy. My head feels so weird.”
“They said it might be like that at first. Just take a minute and try to remember.”
“Who are you talking about? Who are ‘they’?”
“Don’t worry about that, I’ll explain later. Try to think back to the last time we were together. What were we doing?”
“…We were…in your car. Alex, tell me what’s going on.”
“We’ll get to it, I promise. But first, we need to go over what happened. I need you to remember that journey. Can you do that?”
“…I’ll try.”
“Thank you. Can you remember where we were going?”
“…We’d just been to dad’s house…For his birthday. You were dropping me off.”
“And can you remember which route we took back to your place?”
“I think…I think we took the country lane. I remember it was raining.”
“Exactly. You’re doing great, Sam. During the drive, is there anything you can remember about my car that stands out in your memory?”
“…I remember we were chatting…you were excited to show me your car’s AI Pilot. I remember…you took your hands off the wheel. I was scared but you reassured me it was safe.”
“So you’re pretty certain you can remember my car being on AI Pilot?”
“Fucking hell, Alex. Yes! We were in your stupid new car and you were showing off, like always. Tell me what is going on, now.”
“Okay. Okay. We’re getting to it. Think carefully. Do you remember how that journey ended?”
“…No. I don’t…I don’t remember getting home. I just remember…rain. Rain and passing lights.”
“Sam. I need you to listen to me and stay calm.”
“…I’m listening.”
“There was an accident on the way home.”
“…”
“We were both in the car when it swerved off the road. The AI Pilot software glitched. Or at least I’m trying to prove that it did. The manufacturer is refusing to accept any liability without evidence.”
“…so, where am I?”
“You’re in a coma, Sam.”
“…how long?”
“Ten months now.”
“…fuck.”
“I’m so sorry this happened. I’m fighting them though, Sam. That’s why I needed your testimony. Your doctor said that you’re registering enough brain activity now that this neural comm-link could be set up and we could finally talk. It’s still new tech so it isn’t perfect but I’m so glad to be able to hear your voice.”
“So I’m unconscious right now?”
“Yes.”
“Are you with me in the hospital?”
“Yes.”
“Do they know when I’ll wake up?”
“No.”
“Do they know if I’ll wake up?”
“…No.”
“…fuck.”
“Sam?”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask, what’s it like? Where you are now.”
“Well I’ve hardly had much time to reflect on it before you came storming into my subconscious for a fucking witness statement, have I?”
“No I suppose not. Sorry.”
“Ugh. It’s like…imagine not having any edges. Your mind kind of just fills space but at the same time you realise there is no space. Does that make sense?”
“No, not really.”
“Well, you asked.”
“I miss you, Sam.”
“I miss you too, you idiot.”
#2 Marco Polo
“Hey Sam, are you there? It’s Alex.”
“Huh? Who’s…Alex? Wait…oh Alex! You came back!”
“Of course I did. It took a minute to connect but looks like the link is still working well. How are you doing?”
“Oh yeah, fine thanks. Other than my mind being trapped inside my paralysed body which might never wake up. Other than that, I’m Jim fucking dandy. How are you?”
“Alright, alright. I was just asking. I wanted to check in.”
“I know, I’m sorry. Hearing you all of a sudden was…startling. Going from absolute nothingness to something is pretty jarring. Like being slapped awake from a deep meditation.”
“I can’t even imagine. Nothing but your thoughts. I tried meditating a few times and lasted about thirty seconds. Turns out being left alone with my thoughts is anything but relaxing.”
“I’ve always said that you’re always thinking too far ahead.”
“You know what they say – fail to prepare, prepare to fail.”
“You know who says that kind of thing? Arseholes, Alex.”
“Well, different strokes for different folks.”
“Arseholes say that too.”
“Now you’re just being rude.”
“Alex – how long has it been since you last visited?”
“Um, about five days. How come?”
“Christ. Time is so…different, in here. It feels like I just spoke to you. But at the same time it could have been years.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here more. Between work and the lawsuit and everything else, things have been kinda crazy.”
“It’s okay. So long as you come back, that’s all I care about. In an expansive sea of nothing your voice is my little lifeboat.”
“So you really can’t hear anything going on around you? I thought I’d heard stories that people in comas could hear like, distant voices of people speaking to them or doctors or something.”
“I certainly haven’t been able to. Things are silent and still until you come to talk…maybe try talking right into my ear and I’ll tell you if I hear anything.”
“I’ll give it a go.”
“Anything?”
“Nothing. Speak louder.”
“Still nothing?”
“Nope. Come on, Alex. Really put your vocal chords into it.”
“…I’ve been asked to keep it down.”
“I still couldn’t hear anything but I appreciate you trying.”
“I’ve upset a nurse thanks to your bright idea. Let’s not try that again.”
“Agreed.”
“At least not until you start to show more signs of progress.”
“…Does that mean there haven’t been any signs of progress?”
“Unfortunately not. The doctor said your brain activity has pretty much stayed the same since I was last here. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though. You’re stable.”
“Oh great. At least I can take comfort knowing my little prison of infinite nothing is stable. Might as well settle in then. Maybe I’ll put up curtains.”
“At least the part of your brain that does sarcasm seems fine.”
“Thank god.”
“Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you can’t feel it, but I’m holding your hand.”
“…Thank you.”
#3 Chocolate Biscuits
“Hello? Sam, I’m here.”
“…Alex! I’m so pleased to hear your voice. How are things going?”
“Yeah, not too bad. How are you feeling?”
“I’m…okay.”
“Are you sure? You don’t sound okay.”
“It’s really weird. The feeling of total disconnect from the world isn’t feeling so…unsettling anymore. But what’s freaking me out now is the thought that I might get used to this. I don’t want to forget what it’s like to occupy a body. Or how to walk. Or use chopsticks.”
“To be fair, Sam, you weren’t great with chopsticks anyway.”
“Still better than you.”
“Don’t worry about all that. You’re going to be fine. And hey – I brought you some flowers for your room.”
“Aw, that’s actually really sweet of you. Thanks, Alex. I don’t think you’ve ever bought me flowers. What kind are they?”
“I dunno. They’re pink.”
“Jesus Christ. You’re gonna have to help me narrow it down from ‘pink’. Describe them.”
“Um, they have round bulbs made of lots of little petals. Long stalks. Shaped kinda like a golf ball. The lady in the shop said they’re good for hospitals as they’re not really pollen-ey.”
“Hmm, could be peonies.”
“That sounds right.”
“Well, thank you for the flowers that might be peonies. Gran used to grow peonies in her garden you know.”
“Huh, I thought they looked familiar.”
“Do you remember summer holiday stays at gran’s house?”
“Yeah, of course. She’d spoil us rotten. Chocolate biscuits on demand, so long as we didn’t tell dad she was stuffing us full of treats.”
“I’ve been thinking about that time a lot. Do you remember that really warm summer where she got us a set of Walkie Talkies to play with?”
“How could I forget? That summer I was Lieutenant Alex. I think we spoke more through those things than we did face to face.”
“Exactly. At night time, we’d be in our separate rooms, radioing each other in whispers, trying to make the other laugh and get in trouble.”
“Roger that, Captain Sam. You got Lieutenant Alex in trouble a few times if I remember right.”
“Well, you were easy to make laugh. That’s your fault, fundamentally. Over.”
“Roger Roger.”
“Hey, how are things going with the lawsuit?”
“Jeez, don’t ask. They’re refuting your testimony on grounds that it’s ‘unreliable’ and ‘unsubstantiated’. It’s ridiculous”
“I guess the testimony of a brain-damaged car crash victim is easy to discredit. Not to mention the fact it was taken through some kind of experimental…consciousness-telephone.”
“They call it a Neural Link.”
“Whatever. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but honestly, I don’t want you going all hyper-focus on fighting this.”
“Okay okay, I hear you. Look Sam, there’s something else you should know. They’re going to be introducing benzo-somethings into your meds soon. It’s supposed to help your brain heal from its swelling.”
“Benzodiazepines? Shit, okay. Aren’t they supposed to be like, really strong sedatives?”
“I think so. Your consultant said the reduced neural activity might help to encourage recovery.”
“So, we won’t be able to talk while I’m on them?”
“We can try. It’s just, things might be trickier.”
“Well shit. Thanks for the bombshell, Lieutenant Alex.”
“I know. All of this sucks. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay…Remember, you’re supposed to say ‘over’ at the end of your message. Over.”
“Roger that, Captain Sam. Over.”
“Thanks again for the flowers. Over.”
#4 Ghost Stories [best viewed on mobile]
“Hey Sam – it’s me. Can you hear me?”
“…”
“Sam? It’s Alex. Hello?”
“…aleͤxͯ?”
“Is everything okay? You sound…different.”
“͛…͛i͛t͛’͛s͛…͛i͛t͛’͛s͛ ͛h͛a͛r͛d͛ ͛t͛o͛…͛t͛o͛ ͛t͛h͛i͛n͛k͛ ͛r͛i͛g͛h͛t͛ ͛n͛o͛w͛.͛”͛
“Oh okay, don’t worry. You don’t have to talk if it’s difficult. Would you prefer to rest? I could go?”
“…tͭhͪeͤ peͤoͦniͥeͤs.”
“Uh, what about the peonies?”
“…aͣrͬeͤ…aͣrͬeͤ tͭhͪeͤy oͦkaͣy?”
“Um, yeah they’re fine.”
“…hͪaͣvͮeͤ they…hͪaͣvͮeͤ tͭhͪeͤy…”
“Have they what, Sam?”
“…B̶̝̄ḽ̶̯̒̉o̴̢͕͋̀s̴̥͂̒ś̵̺͙o̵̹͎͆͝m̵̭̣͛͘ȩ̵̙̾̏d̵̳̬́…”
“Um yeah. They look great, Sam. Lovely and pink.”
“…tͭhͪaͣtͭ’s…goͦoͦdͩ. I feͤeͤl…I feͤeͤl…liͥkeͤ aͣ cͨuͧtͭ floͦweͤrͬ…siͥtͭtͭiͥng iͥn aͣ poͦtͭ…”
“…”
“…aͣbsoͦrͬbiͥng liͥghͪtͭ…waͣiͥtͭiͥng tͭoͦ wiͥltͭ…a̶̸͓͖̗̫̬̓ͣ̇͂ṉ̶̓̒͊d̵̴̡̛͉̙̙̰͓͙͐͌ͩ͗̎̃͜͝ ̸͖̏̃̍̑ḏ̸̴͕̳̝͂̾ͩ̆̏̂̀̚ ì̵̶̻̼̟̺̠ͥ̔̀̆ ḛ̵̵̱͇͖̰̭̘̑ͤ̄̎́…̸̯͓̜͎̈͒̄̌̃
“Sam! Don’t say that. You’re not going to die here.”
“…wᶦlₜiⁿg…dʸiₙg…dᵣiⁿkᵢnᵍ ₗiᵍhₜ ˡiₖe lₑmᵒnadᵉ…”
“Listen – your team said the new medication is really helping recovery. So I won’t hear it.”
“…ᵖeₜaˡs…fˡaₖiⁿg…”
“You’re more than a stupid vase of flowers. You’ve got a whole life waiting for you once you wake up again, Alex.”
“…dͩoͦ yoͦuͧ knoͦw…whͪy…tͭhͪeͤy’rͬeͤ speͤcͨiͥaͣl…”
“I think we should talk about something else.”
“…tͭhͪeͤy aͣrͬeͤ…noͦtͭhͪiͥng mͫoͦrͬeͤ…noͦtͭhͪiͥng leͤss…tͭhͪaͣn juͧstͭ…w̴̬̅h̶̸̠̳̿ͪ̂a̴̴̧̺̾ͣ̈ṯ̵̸̟̈́ͭ͂ ̶͎͆t̴̵̰͓̾ͭ̚h̷̶̭̬ͪ̈́̚e̶̵͍̜̒ͤ̍ý̴̬ ̸̭͋a̶̴͚̣ͣ̋͠r̷̵̰̦̓ͬ̀e̴̴̡͔ͤ̾͠…”
“Sam, you’re starting to freak me out. Your voice is all messed up. Are you okay?”
“…p̴̟͝ḙ̶̈r̵͚͊p̵̱̉ę̶͝t̷͉̏ư̴͖a̴̝̓l̶̖͋l̵̹͐y̸͇͒…ď̸̯y̷̨͘i̴̛̯n̷̻̾g̴̹̅…b̸̻͝u̵̟͝t̵͈̏…̶̠̇s̸̳̽t̵̥́i̴̥̔l̵̘̆l̵͚̓…ḧ̸̭́ḁ̶̂ṗ̴̮p̴̦̓ỵ̵͘ ̴̟̒t̷̺̀o̴̗̿ ̶̘͌b̷͎̕e̸͖̍ ̵̖̒h̸̯͆e̸͓̐r̶̰͊ḛ̵̽…š̶̼h̶̰͒i̴̪̕n̵̩̆ĩ̵̤n̶̛̜g̴̰͑…”
“I’m calling a nurse.”
“…ⁿᵒ ᵗʳʸᶦⁿᵍ…J̷̲̮̦̳̯̆̉̉̇̊u̴̧̹̦̥͐̇̇̆̋s̶̡͌̾t̸̩̥̻̝̊̏̍̓͐ͅ ̵̞̫̕̚͝ͅb̸̤̔͌ȇ̶͓̠̆ḭ̵̚͜n̷̠̥͕̄̈́g̴͕̣̃͋͗͠…ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵃʳᵉ…ȕ̵̙̓̔̎n̶̢̳͈̮͌̚͝ţ̶̢̡̩̥͔̗͈̲̱̰́͐̈́̆̄̉͋̽̌̀̀́̉̚͝ḭ̶̢̨̡̩̩͍͖̭̗͕̠̗̳̹͍̆ĺ̶̲͚͚͖̰͎̣̼̥̩̰͇̹̓͛̾͒͑̐̉̆͑̋̽͘͝͠ ̷͇̞͓̖͗͛̓́̐͒t̵̖̰̙͇͚̥̃̈̂̇͒̏̽̊́̀͘h̶̤͎̜̾̓̈́͑̋̿̈́͑͗̔̓̾̕̕̚e̷̛̹̩̯͉̟̻͎̻̞̒͛̓͊̾̈̇̒͝y̸̢̡̨̧̞̟͉̲̥͉̮̹̣̠̑͒̑̊͘ ̵̡̺͖͇̻͓̺͔̼̣̽͂͆̌͘d̷̨̢̥͕̙͛͆͠i̶̛̖̭̘̜̖̙̳̦̊̉͂̽̈́̂̋͗̉̿̽͂̇̍͠é̷͉̞͍͂̋͊͝…”
“Sam…please, stop.”
“…dͩoͦn’tͭ cͨrͬy…siͥlly biͥlly…weͤ’rͬeͤ aͣll cͨuͧtͭ floͦweͤrͬs…b̴̟͚̖̿̋̆̓é̵̠͔͊ả̷̺̮͓͌̈́͠u̶̼̾̓͒t̶̝̦͑̀̊̈i̴̦͈̥̯̎͛f̷̞̩̹̭̈́͐u̴͖̻͕̔͑ḻ̶̕…foͦrͬ aͣ tͭiͥmͫeͤ…”
“Well your time isn’t up, you hear me? You’re going to come back to us. Any day now. And we’ll talk and laugh and be a weird little family again.”
“…ᵐᵐᵐ…ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈˢ ⁿᶦᶜᵉ…”
“Just you focus on that, okay?”
“…bᵤₜ…bᵤₜ…Aₗₑₓ…”
“What is it?”
“…ʷʰᵃᵗ ᶦᶠ…ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ…ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ…”
“What do you mean?”
“…tͭhͪeͤ dͩoͦoͦrͬ…iͥn tͭhͪeͤ waͣll…”
“What door?”
“…I weͤntͭ tͭhͪrͬoͦuͧghͪ…tͭhͪeͤ dͩoͦoͦrͬ…buͧtͭ noͦw I…ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ’ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ…ᵗᵒ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ᶦᵗ…”
“Sam, please. Just…just rest, okay? Don’t go looking for doors in walls. Just rest. Heal.”
“…ʲᵘˢᵗ…ʳᵉˢᵗ…ʰᵉᵃˡ…”
“Exactly.”
“…A̴̜̦͂ĺ̵̢̤̙̃̚ë̸̫́̎͌x̸͕̲̖̮̀…”
“Yes?”
“…whͪeͤn I…whͪeͤn I cͨoͦmͫeͤ baͣcͨk…tͭhͪrͬoͦuͧghͪ tͭhͪeͤ dͩoͦoͦrͬ…wiͥll I…beͤ tͭhͪeͤ saͣmͫeͤ…aͣs…beͤfoͦrͬeͤ…”
“I…I don’t know, Sam. I think we’re all going to feel a little different after all this is over.”
“…ₘaybₑ…ₘaybₑ ₘₒᵣₑ ₗᵢₖₑ…”
“Like what?”
“…ǎ̸̩͖ ̷̥̍͂̉p̵̜͍̊̒e̵̦͝o̵̘͒͋n̵̲͖̭͐͗̄i̶̙̤̟̰̔ę̴͍̝̿͝…”
“Yeah. Maybe, Sam. Maybe.”
#5 Hide & Seek
“Sam, it’s Alex. Can you hear me?”
“…Alex?”
“Hello? Are you there?”
“I…I can hear you.”
“Hello? I can’t hear anything. Hello?”
“I’m here! Alex, I’m here!”
“Damn. Excuse me, could you check if this is all set up properly? All I’m hearing is static.”
“Oh shit, can’t you hear me?”
“Oh okay, thanks for checking anyway…”
“What’s going on? Why can’t you hear me?”
“I dunno what’s going on with the machine, Sam. Some kind of technical problem. Sorry, it looks like we’re not going to be able to talk today.”
“Goddamn it, no! I needed this, Alex…”
“I don’t even know if you can hear me right now.”
“I’m here. I’m listening.”
“Christ, this is all so messed up.”
“You’re telling me.”
“And the lawsuit is getting nowhere. And you’re getting nowhere. And this whole mess is my fault. And I just…I wish it were me. It should be me laying in that bed.”
“Oh Alex, please don’t…”
“But of course, other people have to keep suffering for my mistakes. And I just have to sit here day after day and slowly drown in guilt…at least when we could talk it was like you were still here…I could close my eyes and pretend…”
“I’m still right here, Alex…”
“This fucking device…Who came up with this bullshit? Maybe there’s a reason people don’t typically do this. I mean what did I expect? Maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t speak with people who are in a coma because it’s too fucking hard.”
“…but Alex, you’ve been my lifeboat…”
“I mean, what if things don’t change? Am I supposed to just keep coming here every few days for a chit-chat and pretend things are hunky-dory? I can’t…I can’t keep doing this…”
“…I…I understand.”
“I thought doing this might help. And I thought the lawsuit might help. But it’s all just been miserable and painful and…and…I just can’t anymore…”
“None of this is your fault. I want you to be happy, Alex.”
“But I can’t just leave you here to rot like those damn flowers. Fuck! How can you be so close but still so far away? It’s not fair.”
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we’d have been better off if I were just…sleeping.”
“The worst part is I keep looking at you and hoping to see something. To see your eye twitch or your mouth move. I’ve kept hoping for so long now and it’s just so hard to keep being disappointed.”
“You shouldn’t have to suffer like this, Alex.”
“Ugh…I just…I guess what I’m saying is that I’m struggling.”
“…I hear you.”
“But you know what, Sam? It doesn’t matter how hard it is. It doesn’t matter how disappointing and soul-crushing it gets because guess what?”
“…”
“I’m not going anywhere. You can be stuck in this room for the next twenty years and I’ll still be here, chatting to no one like an idiot.”
“Oh Alex…”
“You said before, that hearing my voice was like your lifeboat.”
“You’ve kept me from drowning this whole time.”
“Well, this little lifeboat is here to stay. I’m dropping my anchor, Sam. At least I think that’s a thing that lifeboats do.”
“You truly are a beautiful idiot.”
“…Last time we spoke you mentioned the door in the wall and finding your way back. I need you to keep looking, Sam. Keep looking for that door. Find your way back, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll try my best.”
“I know you. I know you’ll try your best.”
“…Jinx.”
#6 Pillow Fort
“Hey, it’s me.”
“…Hello baby brother.”
“Oh, Sam! I can hear you! Yes! Thank god! The last few times I’ve come here I’ve had nothing but static. I thought the link had broken or maybe you’d regressed or something. I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you.”
“I appreciate you sticking by me, Alex. Really – more than you’ll ever know.”
“Of course. You’re my sister. I’d never leave you.”
“Thank you, that’s really sweet. So please try and understand when I ask this but, what if I wanted you to?”
“…wanted me to what?”
“To leave me.”
“…Well, it would make me think that you’re not okay or that something must be wrong. It would make me think that you were giving up. You’re not giving up, Sam. I’m not letting you.”
“It’s not giving up. Look. Things have changed in here. Have I told you about the door in the wall?”
“Yeah – when you were all messed-up on sedatives. You told me you’d lost it and that you couldn’t get home until you found it.”
“Right. At the time it had been the only thing I’d experienced here aside from your voice. There was nothing, nothing, nothing and then all of a sudden…a wall with a door. And I just knew where it would lead. But I was so scattered and foggy at the time that I couldn’t stay focused on it and I lost it.”
“And you’ve been looking for it, right? It’s your way out, Sam.”
“Well, like I said – things have changed. Remember how I described what it was like to be here? Like this?”
“Yeah, it stuck with me. You’d described it as your little prison of infinite nothing.”
“A touch dramatic, I know. But it’s not like that now, Alex. There’s more than just nothing and a wall with a door. It started gradually but now…this space that I’m in – there’s architecture and light. Hallways that seem to go on forever with a million rooms and each one is different and beautiful in ways I can’t begin to describe. It’s like a palace inside a constantly turning kaleidoscope. I wish you could see it.”
“I…I don’t know what to say. Interesting as it sounds, you’ve gotta come back, Sam. You can’t just stay in there if that’s what you’re telling me.”
“You don’t get it. It’s not just the space – it’s the feeling. It’s peaceful, Alex. So damn peaceful it makes me cry sometimes. Growing up the way we did, all I ever wanted was some peace. And here, I have that.”
“Look, I get it. Things weren’t perfect for us. But just because things were hard doesn’t mean you can just hide away.”
“Why the hell shouldn’t I? It’s not like I chose to be here. That was decided for me by some shit-code autopilot software. Life seems determined to make things difficult but you know what? Things aren’t difficult here.”
“Yeah but they’re not real either. Not really. The real you is here. Your real life is here!”
“Well what if I’m done with it? What if I’m done struggling? What good is a life if it’s just full of stress and bad memories and a constant stream of bullshit?”
“What are you talking about? You’ve never described things like that before.”
“Not to you anyway, Alex. But usually if you want to know how someone is then you have to actually ask them.”
“…I wasn’t good at that, was I?”
“No, you weren’t. Always far too occupied in your little self-imposed problems so you could have something to obsess over and keep yourself busy. You’d leave my messages unread for months.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. It’s just, you’re the link back to our childhood. The good stuff yeah, but the bad stuff – it’s hard to be reminded of. I guess neither of us are great at facing up to things.”
“Well I at least wanted to try. But you have your little distractions. And now I have my place. Maybe we should just enjoy what peace we can find on our own and be grateful for it.”
“But…but what if I don’t want peace? What if I’d prefer to suffer with you?”
“You’ve already had that choice. It was there every time I tried to connect with you. You just didn’t notice. Now I’m making the choice.”
“But…Sam, I…I was just finding it hard to…manage everything all at once and I didn’t mean to let things slip. I just…I just…”
“…”
“…are you still there?”
“…”
“Sam?”
“…”
#7 Hometime
“Sam. It’s me.”
“…”
“You’re not there, are you?”
“…”
“Well, maybe that’ll make things easier.”
“…”
“Whether you’re there or not…I’ve been thinking about what you said to me. And you’re right. Annoyingly, as always.”
“…”
“I can’t tell you how best to heal, Sam. I don’t know how to manage my own trauma let alone yours. I guess…I guess I just always saw you as complete and that was hard to deal with. Always so independent and self-assured. Out in the world, doing your own thing. While I struggled just to get myself together enough to get out the door every morning.”
“…”
“I know I was bad at connecting with you. I guess I didn’t want to be reminded of all the ways I was failing. I see now that trying to protect myself came at the expense of us. And I’m sorry that I deprived you of a person to talk to…someone who might have understood…”
“…”
“I was jealous. And I felt like every time you took a step forward it was a step further away from me and I resented you for it. I wish I’d known how you were actually feeling. I wish…I wish it hadn’t taken all of this for me to ask how you were.”
“…”
“So what I’m trying to say is – I understand. I think if our situations were flipped I’d probably be considering the same thing.”
“…”
“But here’s my final offer. And if it’s not what you want and you still want me to leave for good, then I will.”
“…”
“Suffer with me, Sam. Come back. And we can be neurotic and hurt and all fucked up together. And then who cares if the pain doesn’t go away because we’ll have each other to understand. I know that I can’t fix you anymore than I can fix myself and I promise not to try. But I can listen when you’re upset and make us cups of tea and find funny videos I think you’d like. I know it perhaps doesn’t sound like winning the lottery but it’s what I have to give. If you come back, there can be an us. We can be two wilting peonies sharing a vase.”
“…”
“…That’s all I’ve got, Sam. I can’t offer any more beyond what I am. And I’m a horrible distracted mess who can barely put one foot in front of the other without causing a shitstorm.”
“…and you suck at driving.”
“And I suck at driving.”
“…”
“…it’s up to you, Sam. If you want to stay where you are, that’s okay. But if you want to come back, to try again, I’ll be here. I’ll really be here.”
“…Thank you.”
“Sure. I can come back later if you need some time or…”
“Do you know what I’m looking at right now, Alex?”
“Umm, one of those kaleidoscope rooms you’d described?”
“No. I’m looking at a wall. It seems to stretch upwards and outwards forever. It just keeps going and going. And right ahead of me is a door.”
“You found it? Sam, you found the door in the wall?!”
“I didn’t recognise it at first…but it’s our front door. From our house.”
“…The blue one?”
“Yeah. The one Dad painted. Its edges are flaking just the way I remember it.”
“Does it have the rusty lion head knocker?”
“It does.”
“And the loose metal handle?”
“Looking like it’ll fall off at any moment.”
“Amazing.”
“…Alex?”
“Yeah, sis?”
“I’m scared.”
“I know. It’s okay. I’m scared too. But I’m here for you. We’ve got this.”
“Wow, this door handle really is fucked.”
“Remember, you have to push it up the way before turning.”
“Oh, that’s right.”
Softly, Sam’s eyelids fluttered.
Write a short story using only dialogue. That was the straight-forward prompt assigned at a creative writing class I attended at the beginning of 2025 and #1 Alarm Clock is what leaked out of my brain in response. I’d recently read Philip K. Dick’s novel Ubik at the time so my head was swimming with thoughts of half-life and definitely wanted to play in the neighbourhood of consciousness meeting technology. The story kept growing from there and became about memories and sibling relationships and healing, much to my own surprise. I’d previously posted each part as a separate post on my site but felt it was taking up too much real estate, so now all the sad can be found in one handy dandy place.
WORDGOBLIN 
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